Where have all the Toys gone?

If there’s one aspect of being a lifelong Star Wars fan, collecting the various plethora of items available is almost a prerequisite. One of the oldest items I have is the program my father bought me in the lobby of the theater the night we saw A New Hope back in 1977. It’s still in pretty good shape and out of the extensive collection of merchandise I have, it’s likely the most prized to me for personal reasons. Of course, collecting today has become a multi-billion dollar enterprise and there’s more than enough choices to satisfy even the most discerning buyer.

While I cannot speak for all Star Wars collectors, I have found that generally speaking, you collect what your income allows for. I have for the better part of three decades stuck to the 3.75” line of action figures. Before I had kids in the heyday of the late 90’s, when the figures still weren’t the best, I was spending far too much and haunting KayBee toys and Toys R Us way too often. But the price point was in my ballpark and I wasn’t a true collector, since I take stuff out of the packaging, I could really stockpile. But, between Gentle Giant, Lenovos, and other high-end Lucasfilm licensees, you can now take your collecting to pretty lofty heights.

I think everyone reading this will recall the plastic onslaught that preceded The Phantom Menace. I should know, since I was out there at midnight at Toys R Us with other 30-year-old guys, scooping up as many figures I could that night. I freely admit, I went overboard from there, ’til Revenge of the Sith. After 2005, two things occurred: my first child arrived and no more Star Wars movies were released. Based on those circumstances, my collecting habits changed dramatically and I was not skulking the toy aisles as I previously had. Diapers, formula, had replaced Clonetroopers, and Even Piell. I did get the large scale Falcon, AT/AT or a Force FX saber for birthday or Christmas, but aside from the young Boba Fett or the Darth Maul returns Target battlepack, I wasn’t buying much at all.

Flash Forward to September of 2015 and the ‘Force Friday’ blitz to launch The Force Awakens merchandise push. At first I wasn’t going to go, but the carnival lure of it got to me and I coerced the Cantina Cast’s own Mike into joining me at the one Target in MA that was open. It was quite THE letdown after we stood in line (inside at least) for about 40 minutes. There was an excessively disgusting minimal amount of product available, store employees limited customer, purchasing ability, and the merchandise, was split between departments. I went home bummed out and felt burned for staying up that late for nothing. I ended up finding one or two additional figures over that weekend, but suddenly, the quest to obtain the next wave, the “old urge” to hunt was back! Sadly though, it’s been a damned fruitless endeavor. I got lucky and picked up most of the General Hux wave off the Hasbro website just ahead of the release of the film and right before Christmas.

I also get up very early each day as my job requires me to do so. My morning commute to work, takes me by a Walmart that opens at 6AM and on my way home, I pass conveniently by another Walmart and a Toys R Us in the same parking lot. I am also within easy striking distance of two Targets. I have been hitting that one Walmart on my way into work (and on the weekends since I never sleep late) since before December 25 and aside from a few missed mornings, there has been nothing new since the Hux Wave. Mind you, I’m still talking solely 3.75” figures. Yes I have seen Funko, new Lego sets, and other items, but for whatever reason zilch, zippo, nada, on the basic line. I saw some 6” one morning and got a Rey for my daughter; the next morning they were all gone. I also check the pallets when they’re in the aisles and there’ve been no cases to be seen.

Alas, I don’t know what happened here. How has Hasbro in fifteen years, gone from the overindulging glut that went on in the prequel era, to this lack of anything? While I’m sure that Disney, very likely instructed key figures to be held back, so as not to spoil plot details; it is now almost two months since the film came out and it is on the cusp of claiming $900 million in domestic box office. I think it’s about time to get a gray haired Han, a Rey in her ONLY other outfit of the film, a LUKE and or even, Lor San Tekka! What’s even more discouraging, is that Hasbro is headquartered here IN Rhode Island! CEO Brian Goldner need only drive 20 minutes in any direction to investigate the current disappointing lack of Star Wars toys in any number of retail outlets, Benny’s included! When you resort to checking even Walgreens and Stop & Shop, you know desperation has set in.

I know, there’s way more important things going on in the world, but hey, everybody should have a hobby! Something to occupy your mind, some escapism from the big bad world. Here’s to my fellow hunters out there, scrounging the aisles and abhorring the overpriced new gems selling on auction sites!

The Cantina Cast

The wretched hive your Jedi Master warned you about!

*I’m a jack of a many trades, but master of none, though I excel at drawing, writing, and love photography. Aside from this blog, I also review movies weekly in my column, ‘Film Unfiltered’ for the Valley Breeze in Northern RI. You can find me on Facebook at teburke3, Twitter & Instagram: *

May the force be with you, Tom